home General biology Methods are addressed to self-esteem. Self-esteem. What is it? Restoration and preservation of HR

Methods are addressed to self-esteem. Self-esteem. What is it? Restoration and preservation of HR

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Feeling dignity- this is a person's inner self-perception, which has a visible manifestation in the behavioral sphere, reflected by a high assessment of one's own social value and rights. Has close semantic connection with self-respect, self-esteem and the concept of one's own self, located on high level, but at the same time they are not identical, since in these close concepts a greater emphasis is placed on a person's perception of himself, while dignity always appeals to the external society.

Self-esteem in relationships (whether intimate, child-parent or official) always predetermines a decent level of human behavior, high demands on oneself and the participants in the relationship. Such requirements are calmness of dialogue and decency of actions, guidance of moral principles and showing respect even in the form of appearance(by keeping neat). With the seeming pressure of demands and obligations, a person filled with dignity can behave much more freely than the average representative, going to his own desires in a virtuous way and showing excellent manners and education. Such people can open any door, because they know and appreciate their strengths, know how to deal with the weak and are able to present themselves to the outside world in such a way that these qualities are appreciated, without humiliating other people and trying to stand out, denigrating them.

Knowing the norms of behavior with you is a condition in order to begin developing self-esteem, accepting or rejecting interaction from people, depending on its compliance with yours. internal criteria possible. This category is not innate, but is formed or frozen under the influence of the external environment, from the assessment of others (family, educators, culture), which can occur in teaching (norms, rules and human rights), conscious or unconscious suggestion (when a child is praised or scolded , give an assessment of his personality), when copying behavioral (parental behavior, as an example or examples of literature and cinema).

What is self-esteem

A sense of dignity is a manifestation of accepting oneself for the most part and recognizing oneself as significant person, moreover, such a self-attitude is based on a confident position and calmness, knowledge and a real assessment of one's own capabilities, as well as an understanding of the value of any human personality. Some may confuse such a feeling with pride or, where the prerequisites for feeling valuable and significant are the desire for exaltation, constant comparison, which causes emotional swings and loss of confidence.

Self-esteem in a relationship allows you to appreciate yourself and appreciate the other, to choose something based on your own worldview, and not under the pressure of manipulation or competitive strategies. There is no desire to do something for the sake of pleasing others or confirming one's own significance, a person understands his significance a priori and such an understanding does not rely on external sources. This is similar to a mature relationship, where caring for others will be done from one's own internal motives of compassion or love, but not for the purpose of earning a good attitude, where difference is allowed and supported in both directions (i.e. a person will not give up living conditions or his rights for the sake of maintaining good relations, but will not encroach on the rights of another).

An important internal point is the desire to remain oneself and maintain a calm and firm position, not sinking to empty accusations, sorting things out with the help of shouting and threats, turning to intrigues and gossip as ways to influence the environment. Due to the lack of a competitive moment, calmness, confidence and self-knowledge, such a person cannot be offended, because he clearly understands who he is and who he is not (you will not be offended or argue with someone who calls you an antelope and take it seriously) . Honesty with oneself, an open recognition of weaknesses accompanies decent behavior, then a person can insure himself in advance in unstable moments, when the behavior looks like everything can be solved independently and cope with any problem, then this is already, which is sometimes good, but does not reflect an entirely adequate perception myself.

Such an attitude towards oneself is reflected by an effective manifestation of love for oneself and one's desires, since it is largely aimed at ensuring quality level life. The need to look after appearance (not only at important events, but even on weekends, sitting at home), take care of health (not only buying medicines, but also providing quality rest, a rich diet, etc.), will buy only high-quality goods (without the desire to save because he knows he deserves the best). The same goes for the choice of work and friends, partners in life and ways to build relationships. A person who feels worthy will not be in an unworthy place, engage in low deeds and associate with lost people.

How to develop self-esteem

The development of self-esteem occurs in childhood, under the influence of the environment, and by the beginning of adult life it is a formed category, but not stable, so this sense of self can be either lost (if you get into frustrating conditions for a long time) or developed.

In adulthood, the formation of a sense of worthiness occurs on the basis of self-attitude, and accordingly, work must begin from this position. Initially, you will have to objectively evaluate yourself, get to know yourself (perhaps, for this you will need feedback from people around you who consider some of your shortcomings to be advantages and vice versa). This stage is needed to clearly define who you are in order to move away from imposing the opinions of others and switching this assessment to internal control, instead of spontaneous external control. The courage to recognize and accept oneself along with shortcomings gives a powerful inner strength and a vector of change. It is important that the intentions of change (if any are suddenly started after a review of one's qualities) are carried out in accordance with internal guidelines, and not the convenience of other people. Counting your victories and good qualities, changes on the way to better side it’s worth doing it visually (you can write it down, you can score ten achievements and arrange a holiday or pampering for yourself) - such events increase.

You will have to fight the desire to compare yourself with others, it is acceptable to compare yourself with yourself (at the beginning of the path or with where you are striving). To make it easier, for the first time, you can turn off the news feed on the social network with profiles full of photos of success, or you can consider each catchy comparison as an experience of self-discovery. You can analyze your mental victories over someone on the subject of what this victory gives for the inner feeling, how it can be applied. You can also work with comparisons in a negative direction, fishing out your desires and needs from envy, and possibly images of conformity imposed by someone.

Listen to your desires and try to fulfill them, the constant postponing of your joys for the sake of others greatly inhibits the emergence of self-esteem, because every time, albeit for important reasons, someone else is worthy of happiness more than you. If you want to drink sea buckthorn tea in silence now - buy sea buckthorn, brew tea, close the door to the room with a no-entry sign. And the world will not collapse, even if you have a small child, a project deadline, or a girlfriend in a tantrum in the kitchen.

Since childhood, many have been taught modesty, the devaluation of compliments and the concealment of what is available (even material, even trips, even achievements). Such strategies of behavior make you value yourself less and shrink in size, trying to be worse, telling about successes only to those closest to you. But self-worth means accepting praise sincerely and joyfully, telling about your achievements, without depreciation. The attitude towards you and the value for society depends on your self-presentation. Want to good relationship feel that you are worthy of it - speak well of yourself. And you can start from the opposite and form a worthy attitude with stories about your positive qualities, which will automatically tighten up your inner self-esteem.

In the meantime, this feeling cannot yet resist violators from the outside, then limit the circle of people and areas of communication where violations of human rights, freedoms and dignity are possible, where there are caustic and depreciating remarks, where your boundaries are violated, loading beyond measure in order to free your own time. It is not enough to cultivate such an attitude in oneself; one must get rid of the factors that contribute to the destruction of such an adequate self-perception.

Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"

all the same, it seems to me that even Bok Ja with her maid brains understood that she was simply not satisfied with money. She needed admiration for her elegance (which is not), a thick purse (which in the "higher" is not customary to obviously show off, but how could she hide it if she won it for so long), the obsequious attention of others (but who will give it to a wealthy illiterate maid ) and, you are right, a friend nearby (but who will be friends with a former maid who managed to spit with everyone around except Ah Jin).
Bok Zha seems to me not smart, she is worldly cunning, she knows how to tame a man and squeeze all the money and fortune out of him, but she is not given how to use it wisely. What you wrote about Ah Jin is missing
After all, for this money one could learn a lot, but Bok Ja did not understand this. She saw only her ideal - Ah Jin, but she could not copy it on her own.
I always think - if you merge Bok Ja and Ah Jin in one image - what a woman would turn out! The mind, charm and dignity of Ah Jin and the mercantile aspirations of Bok Ja and the search for love and a family hearth. And I thought - but this will be the image of a classic adventurer, wandering in American films. No, the coconuts turned out to be much more interesting and deeper.
The long-awaited finale of this simply extraordinary drama. Two amazing actresses made this drama unforgettable. Now I have two favorite roles of Kim Sun Ah - in this drama and the unforgettable Kim Sam Soon. Kim Hee Sun just blossomed as Ah Jin. Sheer grace, dignity and a sane mind.
but embarking on such an adventure, she had to be smarter in communication in the family and in society. Can a simple maid do this? I think yes, intuitively should have understood this. But she did not have the patience and kindness (although what I'm talking about when it was planned to rob the old man), or elementary worldly tricks to build relationships with the servants of the house, the children of this large family, with family members. Get as many people on your side as possible. And the most fertile soil for this would be the children of the family. After all, she herself lived a difficult childhood, she should know how important well-being, peace and prosperity are at a young age. After all, you need to get an education (and it is not cheap), start into adulthood. There are no children of your own, so put all your warmth into, though not relatives, but actually grandchildren. Happy for Ah Jin - she just revels in freedom, happiness with her daughter and loved one. She is proud of her importance in society, the ability to support her family and her success in business.
"Everyone dreams of being happy. Everyone wants to have what they don't have. They think they'll be happy that way. But happiness brings light into your life when you actually let go of those desires." As Ah Jin always said, "I never wanted what wasn't mine." To be happy, one must measure one's desires with one's abilities and worldly circumstances. And then it will come. No, you need to dream, strive for more high purpose, but still do not forget about the present and be more practical.

“His heart rate is clearly too high”, “You don’t value yourself, you deserve much more” - you can hear it out of the corner of your ear or directly addressed to you. What is this CHSD? Self-esteem, which shows how much a person respects, appreciates and loves himself. It also determines the level of claims, and in general the activity in life, its very content and success. Self-esteem can be inadequate (overestimated or underestimated) and adequate, but it cannot be absent.

Self-esteem (PSD) is largely associated with. But this is not the only component and not its synonym. ChSD is a complex system of interdependent. In addition to self-esteem, self-perception and other products of selfhood also contribute: self-respect, self-awareness. Roughly speaking, self-esteem is the result of a person's assessment of his own significance and worth.

Accordingly, it comes out of self-knowledge, healthy. But what is self-knowledge? Acquaintance of a person with himself (with all the advantages and disadvantages, innate features) and the identification of interests, the formation of his own worldview. However, is it based solely on self-assessment and self-analysis? No. From birth, a child perceives himself as adults see him, which they willingly express through: “what a good boy”, “you are bad, dumb”, “can’t do anything”, “you can’t rely on”, “you are my support in life." What do you think, on the example of these phrases, which of them will form adequate self-esteem and adequate heart rate, and which ones are too low?

Low self-esteem is based on inadequate criticism and demands, humiliation, insults, coercion from the environment, smoothly turning into elements. As for the overestimated FSF, its roots are the complex of God, permissiveness, "the idol of the family."

A sense of personal dignity consists not only of a sense of one's own value, but also of the value of everything that is directly related to the individual:

Some elements depend on us, this is directly our choice, but some do not. For example, by humiliating his partner, a person humiliates himself, because it is his choice to be in a relationship with this person. But the family in which to be born, no one chooses. Therefore, it is wrong to humiliate yourself because of the unworthy lifestyle of your parents.

Risks with inadequate heart rate

First of all, among the risks, it is worth talking about humiliation. With a low sense of self-esteem, a person allows himself to be humiliated, and with an overestimated one, he humiliates other people. Naturally, this spoils relationships with others. In addition, with an overestimated heart rate, a person suffers from, disappointments,. When underestimated - takes, suffers from self-flagellation, failure and unhappiness in life.

Surely you are familiar with such an evaluation system: “This is below my dignity” / “I am not worthy of this.” However, both of these statements can be both adequate and inadequate. Everything depends on the context. But the situation is aggravated even more by the difference in interpretations of what a “worthy person” is. There is no single measure of human dignity. Therefore, it is worth focusing on the beliefs and values of a particular society, the reference group and one's own internal attitudes. Someone determines dignity by social status, someone, someone by socially useful deeds, and someone takes into account all three components or names the fourth criterion.

Self-esteem also comes with responsibility. Namely, the responsibility for maintaining one's dignity, avoiding actions that deprive oneself of self-respect. The border of the affected CHSD -. A blow to self-esteem and shame from what happened - common cause silence of victims about rapes, beatings. Some people are especially vulnerable, even everyday troubles can hurt their dignity. The result is the same - shame, humiliation, isolation. And if the values that determine self-esteem differ from person to person, from culture to culture and from society to society, then the shame of loss of dignity is inevitable for everyone.

How to raise a heart rate

The development of self-esteem and self-awareness, and hence a sense of significance, depends on the nature of the relationship between the child and the mother. With good mutual understanding (understanding the needs of the child, attention and communication, providing independence in choosing actions and solitude), self-esteem is formed healthy. The development of self-awareness and self-esteem depends on respect for the personal space of the child (this is necessary for everyone from birth, the child must be secluded in front of the mother, under her control).

Due to the mother's anxiety to lose control over the child and the need to regularly receive love from the child, sometimes the baby is completely deprived of free time and the opportunity to realize himself. In anxious mothers and in families with overprotectiveness, children grow up passive, lacking initiative, and dependent.

So, self-esteem stems from the relationship between the child and the mother in early childhood. The following scenarios are popular:

When a child is given personal space in the presence of a mother (another significant adult), he develops an attitude: “I have the right to do my own thing. I can be myself even in the company of other people. I don’t have to constantly interact with someone and I don’t need to be imposed. ”
With hyper-custody, the child receives the installation: “Everything should be strictly under control. Independence and spontaneity is not allowed. I have a duty to constantly demonstrate my concern and love for others.”
In a situation where the mother expresses her dissatisfaction and the inability to deal with personal affairs, forced communication with the child, he develops an attitude: “You need to be grateful that someone wants to communicate with me, spend time with me. Someday I'll be left alone. I always annoy others."
When a mother indulges a child, treating her as an idol, an attitude is formed: “Everyone owes me for spending time with them. I can get whatever I want for the mere fact of my existence.”

In the first case, self-esteem is brought up adequately, in the second and third cases - an underestimated self-esteem. In the fourth case - an overestimated sense of self-worth. Accordingly, self-esteem is adequate, underestimated and overestimated (in the same order).

The child's rejection of himself early stage development causes a lack of self-esteem in the future. Accordingly, self-acceptance builds healthy self-esteem.

Restoration and preservation of HR

Adequate self-esteem is necessary for human survival and. However, even correct self-love and self-respect is perceived by some people as boasting, arrogance.

As we found out, self-esteem begins to form from childhood. In psychotherapy, as a rule, it turns out that for the first time a person heard an assessment of his own worthlessness in childhood from a significant adult, and a little later subconsciously took this for his own opinion.

Identification with the aggressor - in which the victim "whitewashes" the image of the aggressor. In this case we are talking about primary independent self-humiliation and self-condemnation, unpleasant statements addressed to the victim before the aggressor does (or would have done in the victim's view).

How to understand your own sense of dignity? First of all, answer two questions:

What am I proud of?
What aspects of my personality, life, I would like to hide?

Additionally, it can be noted which values and guidelines prevail in society, a certain group. How do they relate to previous answers? Sometimes it turns out that both a reason for pride and an object of mystery are one and the same. How is this possible? When the situation of development does not correspond to the real and characteristics of the individual, it infringes on it.

The work to preserve and restore self-esteem involves parsing the "porridge" in the head into conscious and subconscious, distinguishing between one's own judgments and someone else's from the outside. But only a professional psychoanalyst can carry out such work. The fact is that if there are obvious problems in self-esteem and signs, then independent “outbursts” of rationality and a clear perception of the situation will not be stable.

The purpose of the work to restore and maintain self-esteem is to receive and accept the I-real, separating it from all imposed and fictional images:

Feeling that I am. You need to realize your self, the very fact of existence unique person with their actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings.
Realizing who I am. Working with self-esteem involves understanding and searching for what kind of person he is and how he lives. From this already follows the significance of the individual.
Self-esteem is the value I place on my personality. If self-esteem is adequate, then I positively characterize my image. With low self-esteem, ideas about oneself are negative, cause self-abasement and a feeling of inferiority. The roots of self-esteem are always fixed in the subconscious.

How to correct the heart rate yourself? First of all, realize that you really need it. Without. Use it to return self-love and unconditional respect, and then find something for which you can be proud of yourself. Don't try to please all people. Choose your criteria worthy person and listen to the opinions of significant others.

Learn to say “no” and make decisions based on your own beliefs. No need to prove anything to anyone, do as you see fit.

Get rid of cravings for servility and (to be abandoned, misunderstood, rejected, and so on).

Interact with people when you yourself want it (or make it so that you yourself want it), and not under duress and for the sake of the status of a “worthy person”.

Recognize your rights and other people's rights to different interests and desires. Use your right and do not interfere with others. Remember that personal interests do not always coincide, but each person has the right to their satisfaction.

Set personal boundaries: what you will not allow in relation to yourself and what you yourself will never do in relation to other people. Maintain these boundaries unwaveringly.

Learn to sincerely and appropriately talk about your achievements and virtues, do not be afraid of compliments, do not be ashamed of merit. Record your achievements, compare yourself exclusively with yourself. It is useful to make a collage of your life at home with all the plans and victories, the means to achieve the goal.

Self-esteem is not given from birth. This is a product of socialization, education, learning, suggestion, copying samples, self-education, and so on.

Thus, in order to correct and maintain self-esteem, you need to work with self-esteem, self-confidence, independence, success, inner peace and harmony. Self-esteem is the self-respect of the individual, a sense of value and significance. Under what conditions will you be valuable and meaningful to yourself? What do you value in people?

Self-esteem

If a woman does not respect herself and does not feel her value, then she is not a long-awaited prize for a man.

A man needs a prize for his achievements and masculinity.

If a woman does not feel like a prize and behaves inappropriately, then she loses a man.

Self-esteem cannot be painted on your face even with the most expensive cosmetics. The most fashionable clothes will also not give you this feeling for a long time. Internal female inferiority cannot hide from male eyes behind any external attributes, whether it be diplomas, a prestigious job, a big salary, cosmetics, expensive clothes, cars, an apartment and connections.

Women's confidence comes from within, from the feeling of feminine energy, inner plasticity and feminine dignity.

You can often hear phrases like this:

“You don’t respect me at all as a woman!”

- You don't care about me!

“I’m a woman, how can you talk to me like that!”

All this from the lack of their inner sense of dignity.

A woman can:

Resentfully withdrawing into oneself

Don't talk for weeks

Offended to make scandals because her husband did not notice her housework or another diploma,

Complain about beatings and bruises from her husband,

Complaining about her husband's drunken antics and much more, but all this is just confirmation that she has lost her self-esteem, and her husband feels it very much. He does not need a "bad man" instead of his beloved woman, depicting business activity and urging neighbors to judge who is right. When a man feels that you respect and appreciate yourself, he treats you with care and concern.

A man needs a loving, passionate woman who is hard to command. This does not mean that a woman will defend herself in disputes and struggles. Male manifestations and reactions in a woman only repel the man. A woman should be so feminine that the man next to her would want to be her courageous protector.

If a woman defends herself with the help of tantrums and other emotional attacks, then a man tries, first of all, to maintain his masculine state. Women's tantrums only stir up a man's soul and raise an emotional wave, which he seeks to hide in order not to look weak. When a woman knows how to manage her emotions, to translate anger into children's laughter and mischief - this is a wonderful quality that men highly appreciate. The ability to calm any storm and create joy and harmony in the home - these qualities can help you change a tense situation and make you loving and loved.

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