How not to cry from resentment. How to hold back tears and not cry - effective ways and tips. How to hold back tears with the help of physical influence

Question to the psychologist:

Hello, my name is Zarui.

I have a problem communicating with my mom. I can communicate well with many, but I can’t discuss the same topic with my mother. In principle, I trust her and am sure that all our conversations will remain with us. But when I want to tell her something or tell her about my problems, or just ask for advice, I immediately start crying and talking with a trembling voice, and as always she gets nervous or angry from this, asks to explain why I'm crying, because it's for her ( and, in principle, to me) is very disturbing and the conversation does not work out as always. She, in turn, really wants and is ready to understand me, give advice, listen to me, but my crying interferes with everything. And if I do not cry during such conversations, then we will have a miracle relationship.

I myself don’t know why I’m crying, I’m not afraid of her, and I’m not afraid of her advice and reaction either, but what I want to say is just about my life’s difficulties or the type that I’m not ashamed of. No shame. Not fear. I don’t know why I’m crying and how to stop tears, even if only during a conversation. Well, a lump in my throat. It bothers me a lot in the first place. I know that tears are a way of showing emotions, but in such cases, there is no need to show emotions at all. Well, let's say I want to tell her that, in my opinion, maybe one of my friends likes me, or I just like someone, or I have problems with my studies, or that I'm afraid not to find a job in my specialty, or I just lost heart, or that I don't understand something do in my thesis. (My brother helps me with my diploma and it happens that he gives me a task that I don’t always succeed in, and since we don’t have much time, it happens that it makes me nervous because I didn’t solve the problem) and about the fact that I can’t solve this problem, it also doesn’t work with my mother discuss. Well, now, according to my mother, the time that I spend on dancing (amateur dancing 2 days a week for 1.5 hours) and in her opinion I should not go to classes this month so that I can also devote this time to my thesis. And the fact that these 3 hours a week will not interfere with me and that this can be called my rest time, I cannot discuss with her. Well, I'm crying. I can't even say the whole sentence without crying. In principle, I can not go to dances (although I really want to), but I can’t say what don’t do.

Please help me, how to deliberately not cry in such situations???

The psychologist Tsibizova Ekaterina Romanovna answers the question.

In your case, the internal stress affects. Diploma, emerging sympathies, the desire to find new job stop showing your emotions... You have listed so many problems that it remains for you to recommend to stop for a while and consider the speed of your life. We sometimes do not even notice the burden that weighs on Us, which we carry behind our backs because we do not have enough time even to comprehend it. And later, for no reason or with someone's help, we start throwing ourselves at relatives and passers-by, crying, defending our point of view, falling into depression, drinking alcohol and ... this can be continued indefinitely. Isn't it time for us to stop and say to ourselves: “Calm down! You can do more if you start acting judiciously and systematically. Write down all your thoughts on paper and read them again, carefully considering whether we need them the way they are in our head. Your tears are accumulated negative emotions, which you already have over the edge. Your pace of life and the desire to fill this life with meaning (education, work, family) cause you stress that you do not have time to get rid of. Close your eyes. And relax.. Visualize your tears. Imagine that they are small pieces of ice, precious stones, or anything, if only you could collect them from your face and throw them away from yourself with the thought that your negativity is in them and you are getting rid of it. Imagine that each tear is a negative that your body gets rid of. Imagine a tear “fear of crying when talking with your mother” and wipe it off your face, forget that such fear existed in your head at all. Do this exercise in the morning and evening so that during the day your head is cleared of bad thoughts and emotions that make you feel uncomfortable. Most importantly, do not dwell on this unpleasant situation and move on! And don't stop dancing. In dancing, we express our emotions without fear of being misunderstood. Be happy!

On the site "Beautiful and Successful" today we will talk about how to hold back tears and not cry at the most inopportune moment. Any situation can lead to tears, especially during the period of the female “hormonal storm”. But it is not always appropriate to let them go.

There are women who skillfully manipulate tears, getting indulgences at work or attention in their personal lives.

But what if you don't want anyone to see how upset you are?

Any psychologist will tell you that if you want to cry, then you don’t need to restrain yourself. - This is the body's reaction to stress, emotional discharge, which quickly relieves nervous tension.

Unfortunately, the place, time, and often the pride of the “victim” herself do not always allow this. Just remember how a sobbing sobbing lonely girl looks on the street. It makes passers-by pity and a desire to help. This is at best.

Many people prefer to just stare or even shy away from such a spectacle. Crying in the street is not accepted. It is believed that a person who does not know how to hold back tears from resentment is weak; that there must be a reasonable reason to shed "tears on people."

Holding back tears means staying in shape, with normal makeup, complexion and eye size, coming out of the situation as a winner.

Crying at work means giving rise to gossip. Some recruiters prefer to conduct interviews in a tough style to check if the applicant is capable of working in stressful situations or under pressure (we talked about the so-called).

So, information on how to learn to calmly hold back tears, in modern world It can be useful.

trick the brain

There are several ways to force the brain to focus on other sensations and “forget” about emotions:

• Pinch yourself in a sensitive place, such as the inside of your thigh or arm, bite your lip. So the body will focus on physical sensations, and emotions will recede into the background.
• Hold your breath and try to hold out as long as possible, the body will set aside minor matters in order to prepare for a possible emergency.

How to hold back tears when talking - ambulance

In a situation where you have been unfairly offended, and a lump rises to the throat, the site recommends using several techniques to restrain sobs:

1. Inhale slowly, fully focusing on the process of inhalation and exit.
2. Switch your attention to something else, there must be many small details. For example, remember the multiplication table or mentally recite your favorite poem, remember the phone number of a colleague or count the leaves on a flower branch.
3. Drink water - slowly, in small sips, concentrating on the process.
4. Your task is to reduce the intensity of stress at the moment when tears come to the throat. You can effectively relieve tension with a few sharp movements. Walk around the room, open the window, move the chair.
5. If possible, try to immediately leave the room where the conflict occurred. During stress, any word of sympathy or pity from a “third” side is not a way to hold back tears from a sudden offense, but a password that opens “heavenly abysses”.
6. Go to the ladies' room and soak your whiskey, forehead, arms to the elbows, neck with cold water. This will help fight stress.
7. Keep your eyes open as wide as possible and try not to blink.
8. Try to look distantly past people's faces, preferably into the distance.
9. Raise your eyebrows high and hold until the emotions subside.
10. Raise your eyes up without raising your head.
11. Relax the jaw muscles, open and close your mouth wide several times.

How to learn to hold back tears

If the cause of tears is a person who offended you, for example, an evil boss, then everything must be done so that your resentment towards him is firmly replaced by another, no less strong emotion, preferably the opposite.

Imagine how his wife saws him for the Christmas tree that was not taken out in May, how he was teased at school, or how he is afraid of spiders. Resentment will immediately decrease, and you will become more cheerful.

Since it is difficult to hold back tears during an emotional conversation, it is better to do “work on the mistakes” when emotions subside. Think about whether this situation will excite you in six months or a year? Not? So there was no point in crying about her.

“Turn on” this question in your head every time you begin to choke sobs. Remember which word or expression caused you negative emotions and emotions? Why did you react like that? Perhaps you didn't like the raised tone? What would your more stress-resistant friend or girlfriend in the sedative commercial do in this situation?

If you get upset and cry too often, then most likely you are not getting enough sleep. Inadequate sleep is a 100% guarantee that at the decisive moment you will not be able to hold back your tears and burst into tears.

It will not be superfluous to also slightly strengthen the nervous system, for example, drink a course of vitamins or supplements with Omega-3 acids.

If you, literally from every little thing, then perhaps you should consult a specialist about the functioning of the thyroid gland. Crying is a way of self-regulation of the body, which will save your spine and pancreas. Therefore, having mastered the technique of how to hold back tears, do not forget to cry well when you are alone so that restrained emotions do not harm you.

It doesn’t hurt any of the spectators to cry over a play or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit at all. And what to do to stop crying when it is detrimental to yourself and destroys relationships with others?

Anything can make me cry: from a dramatic plot in a movie to a stray kitten in the next doorway. And when there is also a real reason (for example, from resentment or jealousy) - in general, I can’t calm down for a long time. Sometimes tears turn into hysterics, I start yelling and I stop managing my condition at all. How to stop crying and constantly wind yourself up?

On the causes of tearfulness: you can cry in different ways

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that among us there are 5% of people endowed with special sensuality and emotionality. These are the owners for whom the eyes are a particularly sensitive area. It is these people who have "increased tearfulness." But you can cry in different ways: with beneficial or destructive effects on the psyche.

How to stop crying for any reason

By nature, all owners of the visual vector constantly have tears close by. Such people have a huge emotional range, they can subtly feel the state of other people.

Due to such sensuality, it can really provoke tears in them and tragic story love and empathy for the sick. Sometimes it doesn’t even matter whether this story is real or unfolds on the stage - the viewer still reacts emotionally and sensually.

To stop crying completely for the viewer is the same as to stop breathing. His receptive zone (eyes) actually needs such periodic stimulation. The most important thing in this matter is the reason for which tears arise.

When is crying good?

There is nothing shameful in crying to a sensual song or a soulful performance. But by nature, the carrier of the visual vector is given a special emotional susceptibility in order to realize it in empathy and compassion for other people. Those who suffered a real misfortune, who had a real grief.

We can see developed and realized owners of the visual vector among volunteers, in work with seriously ill or disabled people. They help orphanages or are busy delivering humanitarian supplies to countries where there is a war. They are always exactly where their compassion and active assistance to the weak sections of the population are most in demand.

The viewer may well cry from empathy with his neighbor. But these tears are beneficial, and it is not difficult for a person to calm down in such a situation - he will quickly stop crying, switching to real help. Unfortunately, in conditions where the properties of the visual vector are not sufficiently implemented, the situation is different.

When tears are destructive

With a lack of realization, the entire huge emotional range of the viewer is closed in on himself, in his experiences. This gives rise to constant tantrums and emotional swings, makes a person break into tantrums and yell at loved ones. In this state, he sometimes cannot calm down and only winds himself up more and more.

Depending on the additional presence of other vectors, the reason may be torment because of a guy or a girl. A person can cry from jealousy, panic, or maybe from resentment towards loved ones and fate. The reason in all these cases is the same - the emotional range of the viewer is too large to be directed at himself and his troubles.

How to stop crying on a case-by-case basis

So, it doesn't hurt any of the spectators to cry over a performance or a book, and tears of compassion for living people will only benefit at all. And what to do to stop crying when it is detrimental to yourself and destroys relationships with others?

The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives the following recommendation to all carriers of the visual vector: sensually focus on the experiences of another person. Not everyone will work with the seriously ill, but there are enough of those who crave your empathy around. It can be a lonely neighbor, a suffering girlfriend, etc. Bringing emotions out helps the viewer to remove internal emotional swings and tantrums.

What to do to stop crying from resentment

The feeling of resentment is familiar only to the owners. It doesn’t matter if you had resentment because of your beloved guy, or you had a chance to sob from resentment at the villain-fate in general. The main thing is that your natural inner balance is disturbed: the desire for everything to be honest, equally. You tried so hard for people, and in return they did not give you love, attention, respect. There is no way to calm down.

The opposite of resentment is gratitude. Try to focus on those events, people and their actions for which you can truly be grateful to fate. Surely there won't be many of them.

But resentment is a reason to think about how the properties are generally implemented anal vector in your case? This is perseverance, attention to detail, an analytical mindset, the need for cleanliness and the desire for a family, home comfort, and the birth of children.

What to do to stop crying from jealousy

Man is an extremely complex being, with a highly developed nervous system and pronounced mental activity. We are all, to a greater or lesser extent, subject to emotions. Anger, irritation, tearfulness or euphoria, “walking in the clouds” and “rose-colored glasses”, mood swings - all these are manifestations of our world of feelings, without which a person would long ago have turned into a robot-like, soulless creature.

Tears as a reaction to emotions with plus and minus signs

What emotions throughout life do we experience more often - positive or negative? It is rather difficult to answer this question. And who can count how many times we stretch our lips in a smile, sigh with relief or tensely and wipe treacherous tears. It was only for Princess Nesmeyana that buckets were placed during her sobs, so that’s why she’s a fairy tale! Is it possible not to cry at all? From physical, sadness and even joy? Absolutely - of course not! And why, for example, restrain yourself if your eyes are wet from a long-awaited meeting with your loved one, or if something made you laugh immensely? On the contrary, such emotions bring only positive, cleansing and inspiring moments. Is it necessary not to cry when it’s really hard and some unpleasant events put pressure on the heart like a stone, disturb the consciousness, embarrass? Psychologists unequivocally say: on the contrary, in such cases, crying is not just necessary, but necessary! Why? Because, splashing out everything that has boiled up, we thus get a psychological discharge, and the body is freed from stress. If we keep the negative in ourselves, experience it silently, then emotions accumulate, compressing our psyche, just like a spring is compressed under pressure. But this process is not endless! And one day an explosion will follow, the result of which can be depression, neurosis, insomnia and many other serious problems. Do you want to control yourself in any situation, not to cry? Then prepare in advance to become a patient of a psychotherapist!

When to restrain yourself

We considered situations in which tears are a protective natural reaction of the body to external stimuli. However, any emotion is a double-edged sword. When it becomes affective, i.e. excessive, exaggerated forms, the picture also begins to take on a clinical appearance. And here, indeed, it should be understood that in other cases it is better to restrain oneself and not cry than to dismiss oneself and nurse on every occasion. And not always the situation is conducive to the open manifestation of feelings. If you were insulted, then to show tears in front of the offender means to humiliate yourself even more, to show your own weakness and sensitivity, that is, to give your enemy another reason to gloat and triumph. Do you need it? So let's think about how to learn not to cry in an inappropriate environment.

Learn to dominate

Yes, that's exactly what the first tip sounds like. Develop restraint and self-control, the ability to control emotions, to show a strong-willed moment. Various auto-trainings will provide good support to you in this regard. The easiest and most accessible way to calm down and not cry is to take a deep breath several times and count to ... Some up to 10, and some more. The main thing is that after such an exercise you relax a little, pull yourself together, and feelings return to a more familiar course and degree. This is, so to speak, advice for situations in force majeure. And in general - a long and hard work on yourself!

Evidence by contradiction

How not to cry if you want? Another good remedy- the ability to look at the problem from a slightly different position, when it ceases to seem fatal. As in geometry - evidence by contradiction. Did your husband leave for someone else? Yes, it hurts, it’s hard, it’s insulting, it’s hopeless ... You can pick up epithets endlessly. Or you can sit down and try to think differently: and “his” departure is the prospect of new acquaintances, hobbies, flirting, and so on. One page of life is turned and another begins. If there are children, then, of course, the situation is more complicated. But after all, no one cancels the financial and other assistance of the “former”! Therefore, you should not behave as if "life was cut short." Not! What makes us stronger - adopt this worldly wisdom, and it will teach you how not to cry from pain, but to protect yourself, your inner world from outward cruelty.

From a smile

Psychologists often recommend: when they start scratching cats on their hearts, go to the mirror and smile. At first, with a stretch, even if your smile looks like a grin. Then again, again and again ... Until you get a joyful, sincere smile, from the bottom of your heart. And at this moment you will feel how it becomes easier, brighter, and what tormented you ceases to be so important. Repeat the exercise more often, smile at your reflection, enjoy meeting with yourself! Proven in practice: this method is good not only for those who are thinking about how to do it so as not to cry. It will help any person to cheer up, gain cheerfulness and self-confidence. Therefore, remembering the famous words of Baron Munchausen, smile, gentlemen, smile!

distraction moment

If you are interested in how to never cry, we are forced to disappoint you: it is not feasible. No wonder the poet said: "Who did not cry, he did not live." But to reduce the experience to a minimum - you can. How? Learn to switch and be distracted. You feel that it has “rolled up” and is about to overwhelm - try to distract yourself. For this, someone grabs a vacuum cleaner or washing powder, someone enthusiastically scribbles on a typewriter, trying to kill the “setting teeth” with the anticipation of a new outfit. Someone is saved by the kitchen and the original recipe, while others pull their hair out of the swamp of the torment with rhythmic music, a comedy film or an action-packed book, prayer, meditation, sports equipment and even sex ... All means here are good, as long as they give the necessary mental relaxation and serve effective lightning rod.

Turning to scream

Yes, if you are choking with tears, it will be useful to simply “shout out”. In a cry, we express not only accumulated emotions, but also physical tension. Close yourself in your room and shout whatever comes to mind - furiously, without restraint, out loud. You'll feel better almost immediately, you'll see. True, then there will be conversations with neighbors, and not about the weather ... But this is a slightly different story.

Peace of mind is in our hands

Soulful, i.e. inner peace is a special state of harmony with oneself, peace. It is achieved by choosing a way of thinking and the ability to look at life problems from different angles.

And, finally, the main thing is to cultivate positive thinking in yourself and live, rejoicing in every new day. After all, life is priceless - it is your life!

Life situations are such that sometimes a person cannot do without tears. Triumph, resentment, disappointment torment the soul and do not allow to calm down. So what do you do if you feel like crying? Sometimes a wave can afford it. Nerves will return to normal, the person will calm down, the mood will even rise. Of course, if there are a lot of people around, then it’s not worth crying in public, but it’s okay to brush away a couple of tears. This is the usual excitement, no one will mind. But you should not manipulate your tears. This often has no effect or even causes a negative attitude of others. Not everyone likes to be manipulated by tearfulness.

So why are people crying?

• Sensitive subtle nervous system;
• Too emotional (actors, artists, people of art);
• There are diseases of the nerves;
• They relieve stress this way.

Of course, these points are conditional, and they are all interconnected, but some people really cry a lot. Men are more often shy, trying to hold back the flow of tears, but they get problems, illnesses, because tears relieve stress better than clenched teeth. It's okay if sometimes tears well up in your eyes, it's not embarrassing, this is the body getting rid of the accumulated nervous load.

How to deal with depression?

Sometimes if you feel sad and want to cry, you just need to try to distract yourself. Tears are a reaction to pain, resentment, stress, so you can give yourself physical exercise, go to a workout, do hard work that will crowd out feelings. If you constantly scroll through the insult in your head, then it will be harder. It is easier for optimists in this regard, for pessimists it is more difficult. They are more vulnerable, not always self-confident.

How to relieve an attack of tears?

If you really want to cry, you better cry. So the body will quickly return to normal, calm down. Suppressed feelings are more dangerous. They cause heart disease, other problems on nervous ground. The one who constantly restrains the desire to cry out in himself is often more difficult to experience all the emotional upheavals that have fallen on his lot. Therefore, if you are pissed off, breathe deeply, drink water or cry. Of course, it's better not to do it in front of everyone. But even strong man has the right to tears of joy or sadness, do not be afraid of this.

Tears for no reason

If you want to cry for no reason, it means that the body is simply tired. There may be a difficult situation at home or at work. In this case, take a vacation, change the situation. If it does not help, see a doctor, perhaps some kind of nervous disease manifests itself. If you constantly restrain emotions, health can fail and turn into a runny nose, hay fever, asthma, or other diseases. Change your life, smile more often. Look for positive moments that will please no matter what.