How to go from an introvert to an extrovert. Tips for introverts: How to survive in a big office and at a noisy party. Who are extroverts and introverts

Surely each of us has a girlfriend or acquaintance who looks like the sun. She always smiles, constantly communicates with someone, has hundreds of friends and thousands of subscribers on social networks. She is always invited to parties, the phone is torn from calls, and on the street she has to constantly say hello.

Many people want to be so active, sociable and lucky, that is, extroverts. But can an introvert become an extrovert? Are there ways to transform the psychotype? As a student, I remembered that the psychotype is a given, a “stamp” from birth. The teacher proved this by the example of two newborns. Both are absolutely healthy, but one prefers to develop the lungs, constantly crying, and the other sleeps all the time, waking up only from hunger. But recent scientific research proves otherwise. Now for those who are wondering if it is possible to become an extrovert, being an introvert by nature, there is a chance! It turns out that almost all qualities can be developed. But desire alone is not enough. For an introvert to become an extrovert, one must live like an extrovert, think like an extrovert.

Emphasis on communication

Communication with others is perhaps the most important step that a person who is bottled up in himself has to take. You need to overcome your desire to be alone with a book and call a friend. Just to ask how she's doing. Or buy a gym membership. Or with the same book go to the park, where a lot of people walk. The Internet is not suitable for full-fledged communication, since extroverts should not only enjoy communication, but also observe how their interlocutor reacts to it.

positive thinking

How much has already been written and said that a positive attitude is the foundation on which personal life, career, success, self-realization are built. This is not to say that introverts tend to dwell on failure. They have another problem - they do not remember the good. But extroverts, even in case of failure, find positive aspects in this. The most important thing is experience, which means that next time everything will work out. Even one well-spoken remark to the interlocutor can inspire the extrovert to new achievements.

Pretense

This is the case when pretending to be cheerful and cheerful is useful. An unusual experiment was conducted in the USA. A group of melancholic introverts was asked to live the life of extroverts for ten minutes, that is, talk to each other, joke, have fun. It turned out that they went into a rage, and after the completion of the experiment they felt happier. There is a version that introverts are overly modest and shy people. They also crave to be active and sociable, but they cannot overcome the constraint. Start small - talk to a stranger in line at the checkout, in a minibus. If a conversation started up next to you in a group of strangers, feel free to join it. One remark is enough, and the conversation will turn out by itself. The beauty is that you can interrupt it at any time.

The transformation from an introvert to an extrovert is facilitated by the development of curiosity in oneself, and an environment consisting of sociable people, the cultivation of a sense of compassion and responsiveness, and physical activity, and initiative. By making an effort on yourself, you can improve the quality of your life and get a lot of friends and just acquaintances with whom it is pleasant to communicate.

People have different personalities and temperaments. One of the most serious differences is the way a person receives energy.

On this basis, introverts and extroverts are distinguished. Conventionally, these concepts can be considered "types of personality."

Extrovert at the blog, introvert at home. Sometimes I wanted to slap myself!
Justine. This morning I decided to stop eating

The main characteristics of introverts and extroverts

For a more accurate understanding of the nature of introversion and extraversion, it is necessary to determine by what features psychologists distinguish these two types of personality.
So, characteristic features it could be considered:

• lack of need for frequent communication with people;
• very high level comfort alone with yourself;
• dislike for crowded and noisy places;
• silence, prudence, a high degree of self-control;
• a certain alienation from unfamiliar and unfamiliar people (introverts invariably appreciate close people very highly);
• the need for regular "reclusion" and restoration of energy.

Extroverts are the exact opposite of introverts. Their features are:

• the desire for constant communication with others;
• the need for attention from friends and strangers;
• craving for large crowds of people, mass events;
• poor control over their own emotions (an extrovert can burst into tears for no reason, and after a few minutes already laugh);
• tendency to rapid mood swings (as a consequence of the previous paragraph);
• a very large amount of energy.

Energy and two personality types

The already mentioned energy is present in all people. These are our vitality. And just the way in which a person receives and restores energy determines whether he is an extrovert or an introvert:

The former are constantly "feeding" by being in the spotlight and talking on any topic, while loneliness quickly depletes them.
The latter are quickly "discharged" next to large quantity people who need their attention. The introvert is not rude or shy, they just don't have the energy to talk to a stranger about the weather. In solitude, such people restore their energy reserve.

Who is better?

It is important to understand that introversion and extraversion are not illnesses or deviations. And, and introverts - absolutely normal people which are simply different from each other.

The second important point is that You can’t “fix” and become an extrovert / introvert! By the time of self-awareness, a person is already a formed personality (according to scientists, the formation of a personality type occurs in the first years of life). And you just have to accept yourself and develop all those positive sides that each type has. No matter what society dictates to you (which is now focused on extroverts), it is impossible to change and become different on the “extrovert-introvert” line. Any attempt to do so will only undermine your mental and physical health.

Pros of each type

In general, it is believed that extroverts are superior to introverts in their development. This is a deep delusion. It’s just that each personality type has a predisposition to their areas of activity and a list of positive qualities.
Extroverts are suitable for working with people, active communication with them, due to such qualities:

• activity;
• optimism;
• initiative;
• high energy;
• readiness for work;
• openness.

Introverts are more adapted to independent and intellectual work. Their strengths:

• goal focus;
• self confidence;
• high self-control;
• creativity;
• efficiency.

Conclusion

However, there are not so many pronounced introverts or extroverts. Most people belong to, that is, they organically combine the features of both types. Ambiverts may have a slight leaning towards a certain side. Such people are also absolutely normal and do not have an unambiguously expressed way of obtaining or spending energy.

“I have been tormented by this question for more than a day. I asked it to everyone I know and whom I don't know. I asked professional psychologists and teachers, no one gives a definite answer, opinions are divided. One thing unites people: almost everyone is perceived as something negative and uncomfortable. And I think that initially we are all ambiverts, but as we grow and develop, while we are brought up, some qualities from one side or another begin to prevail in us. Therefore, during the formation of a personality in the puberty period, we already classify ourselves as extra- or intro-. But we're always changing - and inner world, and views, and circumstances, and environment - and our temperament is also subject to change. So an extrovert can become an introvert and vice versa, but the second is more difficult because of the stereotypes of society. I address you as an authority in the field of psychology. What do you think about this and why?

Sandra, 23

Larisa Kharlanova, psychologist:

"Hello Sandra!

Introversion or extraversion is not something that can be brought up in us - just like temperament, however.

If we acquire this way of communicating with the world, it is very early in childhood. All we can do is keep this personality in mind when making important career decisions or when we face something that is very difficult for us to do and difficult to participate in. People evaluate introverts negatively because they do not really understand what they are talking about. in question. This is easily confused with schizoid traits or autistic manifestations.

We have almost no chance of developing the other side of ourselves in much the same way as the dominant side. When raising children, choosing activities for them, it is very important to take into account their characteristics, protecting them from unnecessary overwork. But it is known that many people become more extroverted in the second half of life and vice versa, introversion becomes available to extroverts.

Recently, in the auditorium of a psychological club in Zurich, the old building where the Institute was founded, the phrase was heard: “I understand that 90% of the people present here now are introverts, but I suggest ...” The leader of the meeting invited everyone to stand up and get acquainted with as many people as possible, the time for each "meeting" was limited and by the sound of the gong it was necessary to move on to another person.

It is known that most people who choose the profession of a psychologist are introverts. For example, it was difficult for me to talk and meet with a new person every 5 minutes, but when I realized that this was only because I was an introvert, that, after all, the opposite was the same person and that everything, in the very difficult case, limited to 5 minutes, I was able to relax, turn it into a game for myself and enjoy the conversation. And an extrovert would not even think for a second, starting to communicate.

An introvert is not someone who cannot communicate, this is a person who is always and above all turned into himself. An introvert can behave like an extrovert, but this will require more mental energy from him.

Who are extroverts
and introverts?

Carl Jung said that an absolute introvert or extrovert- a potential patient in a psychiatric hospital. Healthy man has the qualities of both types. A famous psychiatrist explained that introversion and extraversion are extreme points one energy continuum. People on the introverted end of the continuum generate energy within themselves, while those on the extraverted end feed on energy from the outside world.

The main difference between an introvert and an extrovert is a low need for external stimuli. A large number of incentives - communication, changes of places and events - are fatal for an introvert. Extroverts, on the contrary, need external impulses, and if they are few, they feel uncomfortable.

How to understand that you are an introvert?

At school, it is extroverts who most often raise their hand and comment from the spot, and introverts often leave their thoughts behind the scenes. In order to schematically explain such behavior, it is possible to represent the introverted type of psyche in the form of a “thought-word” chain. The period between the appearance of a thought and its voice acting in an introvert can stretch for hours and even years. Extroverts, on the other hand, do not let their thoughts get lost in a series of thoughts and immediately voice it. For example, being in a large group of people, it is difficult for an introvert to analyze new information and draw your own conclusions at the same time. Introverts process information deeply, which is why extroverts often turn to them for advice.

Introverts love being alone and are fiercely protective of their personal space. They don't rush to parties and feel guilty about refusing to accept an invitation. Long-term communication exhausts the introvert and takes away his energy. In general, any anxiety or irritation depresses introverts many times more than extroverts. The latter are more upset by bad news from the outside world, internal experiences are the lot of an introvert.

Why is the world designed for extroverts?

Popular myth: Introverts are shy and don't like to socialize. In fact, communication with people is an energy-consuming process, therefore, in order not to get tired, introverts are forced to limit themselves in communication. Idle talk devastates an introvert in the same way that solitude devastates an extrovert. Therefore, the distance at which introverts keep people is not a sign of arrogance. On the contrary, the ability to focus on their inner world, feelings and experiences allows introverts to better understand and empathize with others.

Another myth says that if you try hard, an introvert can become an extrovert. First you need to understand that a world without introverts is a world without scientists, musicians, artists, poets, directors, doctors, mathematicians, writers and philosophers. Secondly, asking an introvert to become an extrovert is like asking him to change his race.

What to do at work?

The simplest thing an introvert can do- to warn the team about their introversion. To prevent colleagues from annoying phone calls, you can ask them to write emails, leave warning signs (“Contact” or “Do Not Disturb”) on the table or doors and appoint office hours. “I'm an introvert” is a saving phrase when you need to disown a corporate party or an invitation to sit in a bar after a working day. For example, Douglas Conant, a well-known American business coach, openly declares at meetings: “If it seems to you that I am somewhere far away, please understand that I am an introvert, call me!”. Honesty has.

Open-plan offices negatively impact many workers

In 2008, The Asia Pacific Journal of Health Management published a study by scientists from the Australian University of Queensland University of Technology, proving that working in such offices increases pressure, causes conflicts and can even lead to dismissal.

Some introverts come to the office and spend the whole day at the computer, focusing on work. However, communication is also a part of any work, so you need to keep yourself in a communication “tonus”. Experts recommend that introverts allocate 45 minutes a day for a “walk” around the office and informal communication with other employees. When the urge to get away comes, it's always best to have your favorite playlist and headphones ready.

Since introverts remain silent at meetings, and managers and colleagues cannot read minds, the merits and talents of an introvert may not be noticed, and ideas may not be appreciated. To earn professional credibility, you need to talk about yourself. Not necessarily aloud. You can set up a special booth for diploma awards in a conspicuous place or meaningfully position yourself on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. If the world is for extroverts, then social media is for introverts. Here you can quickly and efficiently develop a database of contacts. For example, before attending a forum or conference, you can choose a person with whom it is useful to establish business contact, and write to him about your desire to meet with him at the conference.

As for business meetings, it is better to stipulate a time frame in advance: "I have two hours, then I'm busy." If several noisy events are planned for the day, it is better to separate them with a half-hour pause and spend it alone. If an introvert, on duty, is engaged in extraverted activities, he needs to organize a contrasting rear for himself and find an introverted hobby.

Open space or closed office?

Introverts are born creators, innovators, thinkers and leaders. Susan Cain wrote about the power of introversion in her book Introverts: How to Use Your Character Traits. True, introverts reveal their natural abilities and talents only in the “right” conditions. For example, working in open-plan offices is a real tragedy for an introvert. The point is noise and constant movement, which paralyze the introvert and prevent them from doing elementary work. Most of the people work in such offices today.

In 2011, psychologist Matthew Davis proved that open spaces are not for everyone. and in the case of introverts, lower productivity, alertness, creativity, and job satisfaction. The aforementioned writer Susan Cain supported the psychologist and, together with the furniture manufacturer Steelcase, developed a new type of workspace in which the introvert is comfortable working. The "Quiet Spaces" collection consists of five variants of closed working boxes, up to 10 square meters each. Soundproofing, frosted glass, sofas, different brightness of lighting, yoga mats allow an introvert to immerse himself in his inner world and return from it with fresh ideas.

Some experts argue that in order to make life easier for introverts, companies do not have to give up open spaces and allocate an office to each employee. "Closed" spaces also have disadvantages. Firstly, employees spend more time on virtual correspondence and chats, while in open space it is possible to resolve any issue by exchanging a couple of phrases with colleagues. Secondly, the speed of information exchange in open spaces is higher - there is no need to walk around the office and knock on colleagues' doors, just turn your head.

Opponents of closed workspaces insist that the office should have both open and closed areas, of different sizes and purposes. Then employees will change the scene during the day: get together to discuss ideas, or retire to think about them. This will increase the productivity of both extroverts and introverts.

How to behave in a large company and when meeting people?

In a new environment, introverts feel awkward and uncomfortable. That is why it is always better to meet new people for the first time on neutral territory: it is easier to leave when you get tired of communicating. With severe discomfort and just for prevention, it is better to take timeouts and leave, for example, under the pretext of “you need to call”. You should never be ashamed of your excitement, it is better to confess everything sincerely and with a smile.

It is difficult for introverts to maintain eye contact with the interlocutor - this seems to be a simple, but energy-consuming process. In order not to offend a person with a lack of interest, it is better to sit not in front of him, but at a right angle or to the side. Then you can look away and not lose contact.

Extroverts came up with small talk - a conversation "about nothing". Introverts do not like this format of conversation, but you should not neglect it. For example, at a party or presentation, you can join a small company. In this case, it is not necessary to join the conversation, it is enough to listen or pretend to listen. If possible, it is better to communicate while sitting: a “buffet” conversation while standing is tiring and causes a feeling of insecurity.

If you don’t feel like talking at all, but by chance the introvert ended up at a crowded event, you need to find something to do. For example, at a party or a gala dinner, you can help the hosts by serving dishes to the table, or taking pictures of guests. This helps relieve tension. Psychologists also advise secluding at the slightest sign of fatigue and leaving parties and meetings without fear of offending someone.

The famous psychiatrist Carl Gustav Jung argued that one should not go against one's nature, because this can negatively affect life expectancy. It is important to realize that introversion is normal and even good. Therefore, the main advice for an introvert: no need to copy other people's behaviors and try to remake yourself.

Books for the introvert:

"Introverts: how to use the features of your character"

Susan Kane