home Educational literature Life position happens. The best living position. What is the difference between life positions

Life position happens. The best living position. What is the difference between life positions

As part of the analysis of the life position, the question arises about the lifestyle of the individual.

Lifestyle - a set of typical forms of people's life that objectively exist in society: work, socio-political sphere, education, leisure and recreation, personal, family life, etc.

The individual realizes his social aspirations in material and spiritual-ideological life. Life position acts in this series as a characteristic of a particular subject, which, within the framework of this image life leads a material and spiritual-ideological life

certain direction, content and activity. Personality is a student and co-author of human history, a certain way of life.

The way of life of a society, a social group, a labor collective represents for a subject of any level (and especially for a particular person) as a specific social condition that actively determines his way of life. A person is faced with a whole set of situations of life choice. She either accepts the current way of life, fights for its strengthening, development ( takes an active life position); or takes everything for granted, realizes itself within the framework of a positive norm, but no more ( life position of the average level of activity); or only adapts to existing conditions, indifferently following the "rules of life" of the microenvironment ( passive life position ); or under certain conditions uses forms of activity and communication of negative and antisocial content ( negative and antisocial attitudes). As you can see, the concepts "life position" and "Lifestyle" intersect and complement each other.

At the moment of life choice, a person is tested for maturity and social stability as a conscious subject of social life.

The concept of "life position" is associated with an active, selective attitude of people to nature and society, a person's ability to make choices and make decisions in certain conditions, including within a certain lifestyle. The objective (external) conditions for self-determination of a person are the totality of socio-economic, political and spiritual-ideological processes of a concrete historical society (at the level of society as a whole and its constituents). social groups, at the regional level, at the level of the labor collective and the family). The lifestyles of collective and individual subjects with whom it interacts are also peculiar external conditions.

Social personality types. Temperament.

"Doers"- warriors, artisans, engineers, teachers; active action, changing the world, others and yourself.

"Thinkers"- look, think; weapon is the word.

"People of Feelings and Emotions"- figures of literature and art; weapon is intuition.

"Humanists and Ascetics"- weapons - a heightened sense of feeling the state of mind of another person, love for all living things; the work of life is mercy.

Temperament

For centuries, such an integral formation of an individual as temperament (from Latin temperamentum - the proper ratio of parts) has been of particular interest.

A. R. Luria expressed an aphorism that the greatness of a scientist is determined by the extent to which the ideas put forward by him delayed the development of scientific thought. In this sense, hardly any of the scientists can compete with Hippocrates, who proposed the humoral concept of temperament. Hippocrates taught that temperament depends on the ratio of the four fluids of the body - blood, bile, lymph and phlegm. The mixture of these fluids underlies the four main types of temperament: sanguine, choleric, melancholic, phlegmatic. Some people are extremely slow and unperturbed by temperament. In the whole manner of their behavior, one feels sedateness, measuredness (phlegmatic). Other people are mobile, impulsive, flammable, instantly seize on new ideas; sociable people with variable mood (sanguine). Cholerics are extremely receptive and deeply experience all their joys, their pains and sorrows. They are impulsive, under the influence of passion they can commit a rash act, and then they will repent. A completely different type - melancholic. They deeply experience any event of life, but they carry grief in themselves, without showing outwardly their experiences; constant in their affections.

Why are some people rich and successful, while others are poor and unhappy? We often ask ourselves this question. Like, he was lucky, he found his path, or the heir to rich parents, or a thief, whatever the pessimist will say. But at the same time he does nothing to get even a small step closer to their success. We will talk about this and much more in the article.

What is the secret of happiness?

Life position is what affects our subconscious, thoughts, actions, perception of the world. The environment, the model of behavior, the field of activity, sincerity will depend on it. From the first minute of communication with a person, it is clear what his position in life is and whether he has one at all.

In other words, this is the attitude of the individual to the world around him, which is reflected in his thoughts and actions. There are two main types:

Passive life position.
And active.

The first, it is also called conformist, is aimed at subordinating to external circumstances and the surrounding world. Such people, as a rule, are inert, do not show any interest in life. They do not improve themselves, do not make decisions in a difficult situation, it is easier for them to bypass the problem. They don't keep their word, they lie.

The second contributes to the transformation of influencing factors on the individual and situations in his favor. Let's talk about it in more detail.

Features of an active life position

May be:

Negative.
And positive.

In the first case, people direct negative energy to accomplish bad deeds. They deliberately cause harm to others, imposing their opinions and goals on everyone, bringing harm, not benefit.

A positive life position is characterized by high morality and spirituality of a person. The individual leads a positive way of life, rejects evil. An active life position is a guide that directs a person in the right direction so that he works for the benefit of society, strives to benefit people along the way.

Truly happy is the person who gives more than he receives. It is important to understand that in life nothing is given just like that, you need to work hard. And for this you need to choose the right life path, think positively, do not waste time on unloved work, develop.

When and how is it formed?

The foundation of life position is laid in early childhood. And as the child grows older, its walls either strengthen or weaken. The construction of this framework will depend on the parents and inner circle in which the individual grew up. Namely: from heredity, upbringing, family traditions and other things.

But this does not mean that if a bad life experience was received, the person will not have any or a passive life position, not at all, it can be consciously changed, like character. So, let's understand: the formation of a life position begins from birth. Look at yourself from the outside, if you are not satisfied with life, rethink it, perhaps you are doing something wrong. Try to change yourself.

Let's talk about morality

The moral life positions of a person characterize his inner spiritual baggage and are based on the values that guide him in life. Morally, the individual develops in the process of life in society, is expressed in the ability to consciously build relationships with people, with oneself, society, and the state.

The formation of moral life positions, of course, will depend on many factors, such as the environment, personality, habits, upbringing, family traditions. For their formation, you need to develop several qualities:

You need to learn to live in harmony with yourself.
Build relationships with adults and peers.

The moral positions of a person form a model of behavior that leads to the achievement of success and well-being.

How to determine the best position in life?

You need to analyze your life. Start with habits, review values and priorities. Change your thinking. Here are examples of life positions:

Helping people. By helping, a person benefits not only others, but also himself, because he will definitely be thanked kind word, will be blessed. And this is the highest award.
Self improvement. Also, one of the best positions in life will bring stunning success, lead to the achievement of the goal, and the result of work will be appreciated by others. Do not be idle, read books, articles, attend trainings, development courses, go in for sports, go to the theater and exhibitions. It is necessary to constantly develop.
Family and kids. If you have chosen this life position for yourself, then you are wise and smart. After all, this is our main reassignment in life. Work hard, surround children with love and care, help them fulfill themselves, make family members happy. This is the highest achievement.

Only you can determine your best position in life. The main thing is never to give up, to move forward, not to lose heart. Understand that worries, depressions, fears and bad moods will not correct the situation, but will only aggravate it. Spread your wings, take off, dream and strive to achieve your goal.

How to do it?

So, let's figure out where to start in order to develop an active life position:

As mentioned above, learn to set goals. Do not set impossible tasks, the goal should be specific, realistically achievable and in a short time. It is better to take small steps towards a big dream.
Need to get rid of bad habits. This is not only smoking and alcohol, this can include aimless pastime. Don't sit for hours computer games, social networks and so on. Spend your weekends usefully, visit museums and exhibitions.
Read more useful information.
Learn time management. Technology will help you organize your time properly and increase the efficiency of its use.
Don't close from outside world. Get to know it, open up to something new. Change your image, travel. Show interest in unknown art forms, for example.
Don't be afraid to take risks. Never hesitate to implement ideas. Don't stop halfway.
Leave negative memories behind, learn from the experience and do not look back.
Surround yourself only with positive people, adopt their knowledge.

To change your life for the better, you need to act. You say, they say, it's easy to talk. But then again, sitting back, arguing over unnecessary things, simply doing nothing is absenteeism, nothing will happen. Start small, learn to think positively, and slowly overcoming small obstacles, you will move towards your goal, dream.

The word “position” itself has many meanings. This and a certain posture; and the location of an animate or inanimate object; a place prepared for combat; finally, this is the name of the point of view, the opinion on which human behavior depends.

The combination “life position” often used in psychology is very close to the last definition. The life position of a person is her understanding of the meaning of life, her attitude to circumstances and realities, which lays the foundation for behavior and determines the motives of activity.. It finds expression in various forms: beliefs, values, ideals, principles…

Life position begins to take shape even in childhood and depends on a number of factors: heredity, upbringing, family traditions, events experienced, norms prevailing in a given society ... This is not a frozen education: one’s life position can be adjusted and changed at any age, there would be a desire.

Active or passive

It is customary to reduce the whole set of life positions to two opposite types: active and passive. What is an active life position? This is the desire to change the social situation in which a person is located, to achieve a better position in life. Passive (or, which means "adaptable") position involves non-interference in the course of events, agreement with the existing, even not very satisfactory, state of affairs.

An active life position is inherent in people who are energetic and active, capable of leading others. But their activities are not always directed to the good. There are two types of active attitude to the world.

1. Negative - energy is directed to actions that are negative from the point of view of generally accepted norms, a person is in conflict with society, undermines its foundations with his activities. An example of a person with such a position is the leader of a gang of criminals.

2. A positive view implies an initiative in smoothing out social contradictions, an orientation towards strengthening moral standards; people leading such a way of life, as a rule, are distinguished by purposefulness, responsibility, conscientiousness, readiness to act without delay even in difficult conditions. It is believed that it is precisely this behavior that should be striven to the best of our ability and ability.

The manifestation of the conformist position is also heterogeneous. It can include four forms of behavior:

Submission - strict adherence to prescribed norms without a critical attitude towards them.
Absolute inaction - the name speaks for itself: the best way to solve the problem is to wait until it passes by itself.
A destructive strategy - a person redirects all the accumulated dissatisfaction to third parties, making them guilty, instead of analyzing the situation and outlining ways to change it.
Excitation is an intense, but extremely unconstructive, chaotic activity that replaces attempts to find a solution to a problem.

Although only the first two types can be called passive in the literal sense of the word, the activity that a person shows in the third and fourth forms - due to wrong direction - also does not lead to any changes in decision. problem situation. Author: Evgeniya Bessonova

03.12.2015 10:08

Chapter from the book by J. Stewart, W. Joynes "LIFE SCENARIO"

Berne suggested that at the most early stages scenario formation, the young child "...already has certain beliefs about himself and about the people around him... These beliefs, which he apparently carries through the rest of his life, can be summed up as follows:

(1) I'm OK or
(2) I am not-OK;
(3) Are you OK or
(4) You are not-OK."

Combining all possible combinations of these beliefs, we get four statements about ourselves and other people:

(1) I'm OK, you're OK;
(2) I'm not-OK, you're OK;
(3) I'm OK, you're not OK;
(4) I am not-OK, you are not-OK.

These four points of view are called life positions. Some authors call them fundamental positions, existential positions, or simply positions. They reflect the fundamental attitudes of a person about the essential values which he sees in himself and other people. This is something more than just an opinion about one's own or someone else's. behavior. Having adopted one of these positions, the child, as a rule, begins to adjust his entire script to it.

Berne wrote: "At the heart of every game, every scenario, and every human destiny is one of these four fundamental positions."

The child who adopted the position "I'm OK, you're OK" is more likely to build a winning scenario. He finds that he is loved and glad for his existence. He decides that his parents can be loved and trusted, and subsequently extends this view to people in general.

If an infant takes the "I'm not-OK, you're OK" position, he is more likely to write a banal or losing script. In accordance with this fundamental position, he will play out in the script his role as a victim and his losses to other people.

The "I'm OK, you're not OK" attitude can set the stage for a seemingly winning scenario. But such a child is convinced that he needs to rise above others, and keep them in a humiliated position. For a while he may succeed, but only at the cost of continuous struggle. Over time, the people around him will get tired of their humiliated position and turn away from him. Then he will turn from a supposedly "winner" into a loser himself.

The attitude "I'm not OK, you're not OK" is the most likely basis for a losing scenario. Such a child has come to believe that life is empty and hopeless. He feels humiliated and unloved. He believes that no one is able to help him, since the rest are also not-OK. So his script will revolve around scenes of rejection by others and his own rejection.

Origin of life position

In TA, there is no complete agreement on the causes and timing of life positions.

Berne believed that "... the position is taken in early childhood (from three to seven years) in order to justify a decision based on earlier experience." In other words, according to Berne, early decisions come first, and then the child takes a position in life, thereby creating a picture of the world that justifies earlier decisions.

For example, a baby who has not yet learned to speak may make the following decision: "I will never risk loving anyone again, because Mom has shown that she does not love me." He later justifies this decision with the belief "no one will love me", which translates to "I'm not OK". If a little girl is spanked by her father, she may decide, "I will never trust a man again because Dad treats me badly." Subsequently, she extends this decision to all other men in the form of the belief "men cannot be trusted", that is, "you (they) are not OK."

From the point of view of Claude Steiner, life positions are taken much earlier. He traces their origins to the first months of feeding a child. According to Steiner, the position "I'm OK, you're OK" reflects the comfortable atmosphere of interdependence between the child and the breastfeeding mother. He equates it with the position of "fundamental trust" described by the child development Eric Erickson. This is such a "... state of affairs when the baby feels that he is in unity with the world, and everything is in unity with him."

Steiner believes that all children start with an "I'm OK, you're OK" attitude. The child changes position only when something disturbs the harmony of his interdependence with his mother. For example, when a child feels that the mother ceases to protect him and accept him as unconditionally as she did in the first days. Some babies may perceive birth itself as a threat to primordial harmony. In response to any kind of discomfort in his life, the child may decide that he is not-OK, or that others are not-OK. He goes from Erickson's state of "fundamental trust" to a state of "fundamental mistrust." And then, based on this fundamental idea of himself and other people, the child begins to write the script of his life.

Thus, Steiner agrees with Berne that life position "justifies" scenario decisions. However, according to Steiner, a life position is taken first, and after that, scenario decisions.

So, attitude can be defined as a set of underlying beliefs about oneself and other people that a person uses to justify his decisions and his behavior.

LIVING POSITION IN ADULTS: OK-SITE

Each of us enters adulthood with a script for later life, based on one of the four life positions. However, we do not stay in the chosen position all the time. We are constantly moving from one position to another.

Franklin Ernst developed a method for analyzing such transitions. He called him OK-Site.

Instead of the term "OK" Ernst uses the expression "OK for me". This is done to emphasize that "okay" is due to my beliefs: my beliefs about yourself and my beliefs about you.

The top pole of the vertical axis of the Site corresponds to "You are OK", the bottom - "You are not OK". On the horizontal axis on the right we have "I'm OK", on the left we have "I'm not-OK". Each of the four squares corresponds to some vital position.

For brevity, "OK" in the literature on TA is often denoted by the sign "+", and "non-OK" - by the sign "-". The word "you" is sometimes also abbreviated to the letter "T". Four vital positions at the same time take next view: I+T+, I-T+, I+T-, I-T-.

On fig. one of the variants of the Site is presented, where each of the four positions has its own name. Ernst's original diagram did not include these names, but they are often used by other authors.

Franklin Ernst points out that each of the children's positions is represented in adult life in the form of a certain social interaction. He calls the last " operation". The names of these operations are given on the scheme of the Site. When we perform any of these operations unconsciously, in the state of the Child, we do this, as a rule, in order to provide a scenario "justification" for the corresponding life position. However, we have another possibility - we can move into the Adult state and perform any of these operations consciously, and through this social interaction can lead to the desired results for us.

I'm OK, you're OK: engagement

I just got to work. On the threshold, the boss meets me with a pile of papers. "Here's the report we've been waiting for," he says. "I've marked some points for you. Could you review them and report back?" "Very well," I reply, "it will be done."

By agreeing to fulfill the request of the boss, I decided for myself that I was competent enough to perform this task and I liked it. I find that the boss stated his request politely and reasonably. Thus, I take the position "I'm OK, you're OK". At the level of social interaction, my boss and I turned on to the common cause.

Every time I interact with people in this position, I reinforce my belief that I and others are OK.

I'm Not-OK, You're OK: Avoiding Interaction

I sit down at my desk and turn to the first page of the report. Out of the corner of my eye, I see someone walking towards me. This is one of my colleagues. He looks worried. Since I am already familiar with this expression on his face, it is not difficult for me to guess why he complained. He is going to endlessly complain about his work, ask me for advice and not listen to him. When he comes to my desk and opens his mouth, I can choose between two options: follow the script or respond to him from the Adult state.

Scenario operation: Let's say I step into the script and take the "I'm not-OK, you're OK" attitude. I say to myself: "I'm not able to help him. I can't do it. But what is he, he will just talk and that's it. We need to get out of here!" I tighten my abs and sweat. Not listening to what my colleague is talking about, I mumble, "I'm sorry, Jim, I need to jump out to the bathroom!" - and head for the door. As I leave the room, I let go of my tension with a sigh of relief. I gone from Jim according to the script. In doing so, I reinforced my Child's belief that I am not OK and others are OK.

Adult operation: If I decide to stay in Adult, I say to myself: "In this moment I don't want to listen to Jim. He has problems, but it's not for me to solve them. However, if he speaks, you can't stop him. I think it's best to get out of his reach." As soon as Jim opens his mouth and begins to utter his first complaint, I say: "Yes, Jim, things are bad. But I'm busy right now. I was just about to go to the library, check some data on this report. I hope everything works out for you." I collect my papers and leave. With the help of an Adult, I consciously chose the operation care.

I'm OK, You're Not OK: Getting Rid of Interaction

Ten minutes later, with a cup of coffee, I return to the office and delve into the report. The door opens again. This time it's my assistant. He looks dejected. "I'm afraid I have bad news," he says. "Remember, you ordered me to print materials? I got busy and forgot to turn them in on time. And now the printer is busy. What should I do?"

scenario operation: I can answer him from the "I'm OK, you're not OK" position. Blushing, I say in a sharp voice: "What do you make? Correct the situation, that's what you do! I don’t want to hear anything else until the material is on the table, understand?” At the same time, my pulse rises and I literally boil with indignation. When the assistant disappears, I say to myself: “You can’t rely on anyone in our time, everything have to do!" I got rid of from the assistant, creating a scripted "justification" for my belief that I am OK and others are not.

Adult operation: I answer the assistant; "Well, your job is to fix things. I've got urgent work to do right now. So look for an opportunity to print materials somewhere else as soon as possible. I'll see you at four, report back on the results." I bend over the report again, signaling that the conversation is over. I got rid of from an assistant, so now I can do my own thing, and we both remain OK.

I am not-OK, you are not-OK: non-engagement in interaction

The phone rings. The wife calls from home: "Something terrible has happened! The pipe burst, and while I managed to turn off the water, the entire carpet was flooded!"

scenario operation: In this case, I can take the attitude "I'm not OK, you're not OK". I say to myself: "I've had enough. This is beyond my strength. And you can't rely on your wife. It's all useless." I groan into the phone: "Listen, this is already beyond my strength. It's already been a day, it's too much." Without waiting for an answer, I hang up. I feel exhausted and depressed. Deep down, I solidified my belief that I and everyone else is not OK.

Adult operation: Deciding to stay in the Adult state, I reply, "Look, it's all over now. Wait until I get back. Then we'll see what we can do." I chose surgery non-involvement.

OK-SITE AND PERSONALITY CHANGES

Although we are constantly moving around the squares of the Lot, each of us has a "favorite" square in which we, acting according to the scenario, spend most of the time. It corresponds to the basic life position we took in childhood.

"I'm OK, you're OK" is healthy position. In doing so I participate in life and resolution life problems. I act in order to achieve the winning results I desire. This is the only position based on reality. If as a child I took the position "I'm not-OK, you're OK", then most likely I will play my scenario mainly from depressive positions, feeling inferior to other people. Without realizing it, I will choose feelings and behaviors that are unpleasant for me, "confirming" that I have determined my place in the world correctly. If I develop mental health problems, they will most likely be diagnosed as neurosis or depression. If I wrote a fatal script, it would probably end in suicide.

The childish attitude of "I'm OK, you're not OK" means that I will be living my script mostly from a defensive position, trying to rise above other people. However, they are likely to perceive me as overwhelming, insensitive and aggressive person. Although this position is often called paranoid, it also fits the psychiatric diagnosis of character disorder. In a third-degree losing scenario, my final scene might involve killing or maiming other people.

If I took the "I'm not-OK, you're not-OK" attitude as a baby, my script will play out predominantly from barren positions. I will consider that this world and the people who inhabit it are bad, as well as myself. If I wrote a banal script, my negligent attitude to most of life's undertakings will run like a red thread through it. If I have a fatal scenario, the outcome may be to go "mad" and earn a psychotic diagnosis.

Like all other components of the script, life position can be changed. As a rule, this happens only as a result of an insight - a sudden direct-intuitive awareness of one's scenario - a course of therapy or some kind of strong life shock.

Often the process of changing one's life position is associated with a certain sequence of moving along the squares of the Site. If a person initially spends most of their time in Z-T-, their next stop will most likely be Z+T-. After spending some time in this main square for himself now, he will move into I-T +. The ultimate goal is to stay longer and longer in the I + T + square until it becomes the main place of residence.

It may seem strange that in order to go from I+T- to I+T+, people often need to go through I-T+. But, as therapeutic experience testifies, I + T-often turns out to be defensive reaction against I-T+. Deciding that "I am OK and everyone else is not OK," the infant establishes himself in this position to protect himself from the painful realization of his inferiority and helplessness in the face of his parents. To really become an adult, a person needs to live through this childhood pain and get rid of it.

*** EXERCISES WITH THE OK AREA

Draw the axes of the OK-Plot and label the squares.

Now draw a line along the axes to show how much time, on average, you spend daily in each square. For example, if you think you are in I-T+ most of the time, slightly less in I+T+, even less in I+T-, and least of all in I-T-. Franklin Ernst called it " district program".

Under what circumstances do you tend to enter each of the squares? What do you usually do, say and feel when you are in each of them?

From what states of the Self do you come from, being in each square? (Use the functional model.) What states of self do you induce in other people?

What types of strokes do you produce and receive in each square?

Now, after you've seen your polling program, would you like to change something in it?

If so, think about how you can use any of the four Adult Actions instead of script response. Choose at least one situation in the next week in which Adult Operation can be applied and try it out. If you are working in a group, let them know about the result.***

Everything that a person thinks, thinks about, does, represents his life position. At first glance, it seems that there can be something in common between the attitude to the surrounding world and morality? It turns out that everything in this life is interconnected.

Life position helps us to overcome the difficulties of life, ups and downs. It is expressed in all areas of activity: labor, ethical, internal, social, political.

People begin to form a life position from birth. How the child will develop depends to a greater extent on the close environment. These are parents, grandparents, educators, teachers. At this stage, the foundation of life in social sphere. From harmonious relationships in the family, school, at work, a personality is formed.

What is the difference between life positions

The main secret of personal self-realization is an active life position. Courage, initiative - this is that small fraction that forms to the intended goal. Such people often become leaders in the team and among friends. Passive personalities only follow them, although they have their own point of view, but do not want to defend it.

Specific features of an active life position

Negative
People with a negative life position direct their energy towards negative actions. They cause a lot of trouble to those around them. Their life credo is to impose on society their opinion, specific goals that cause colossal harm, not benefit. Often such people are the leaders of bandit groups and formations.

Positive
High morality of a person, a positive lifestyle, unacceptability to evil.

Passive people lead an inactive lifestyle. They are indifferent to our reality. Pessimists never participate in solving difficult issues, the problems of society are bypassed. They never answer for their words, promising something, they often deceive. Human behavior reminds us of an ostrich with a hidden head. In their opinion, this is the most convenient way to protect yourself from unnecessary problems.

passivity and negative life goals are practically identical concepts. From inaction and unwillingness to help in difficult moment there are many different crimes and outbursts of injustice.

Types of passive life position

Submission;
Complete inertia;
destructive behavior;
Excitation.

A submissive person will follow the path “beaten” by someone until the end of his life. He strictly observes the rules, without thinking about their need and compliance.

The last category of pessimists is no less serious for society. All their troubles, failures, anger they splash out on outsiders, completely uninvolved in their problems, people. For example, a mother splashes out a sea of negativity on her children, having unsuccessfully married. Innocent beings pay for negligent parents. There are many such examples.

Life position begins to form from early childhood and continues to strengthen or weaken during the continuation life cycle. Look at yourself from the outside, evaluate your actions. Perhaps you are doing something wrong. If the results do not impress you, then try to change yourself. You still have time for this!